Gentle Non-Sting, Alchohol Free Formula

07:19 pm: Just me enforcing my bad teenage poetry upon the world.
Gifted, lifted mind of mine,
wasted on your cherry wine.
Fold the day into eight,
Time not spent is time to wait.
Waiting for a hand to hold,
Tell stories torn at every fold.

06:58 pm: Lay me down. Take me to the end.
Im braindead again. Back to normal. Ill come back when i have a heart to pour out. Eddie. I'd love to love you. Please complicate my life.

07:14 pm: Inflatable Jesus Love Dolls
Today was really fun.
I got out of bed because I had to throw up. I'm really sick. I mean REALLY sick.

I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.

I'm so hardcore. Me and Buzz went to the mall today, and I stole a whole heap of stuff. I got a Good Charlotte CD, a couple of DVDs and some new boots. Buzz got caught, but he fought his way out, and then we stole some lady's car and smashed it into a phone booth.

Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.

I want to tell the world to get fucked.

I am sharpening my knives before I go to work today, because I'm going to cut out Robert's heart and feed it to him for losing my mail.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's ten thousand photographs of my cat.

I want to say thanks to my dad for giving me my own computer and digital camera. Here's a photo of my room. The weather in Ontario is cold. I have nothing more to say.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have a terrible skin disease which prevents me from coming into contact with other human beings. And bipolar disorder.

Okay. Your probably wonderding where i get this crap from. Guess what!? I found an automatic live journal updater. If your feeling super lazy you just choose a few options and it creates an entry for you! YAY! I just had to explain that because ruby probably thinks im really really severly unhinged. well im not. go to www.rumandmonkey.com and play. PLAY.

10:31 pm: Teeheeheee.....ive just had a lobotomy but i can still post on my livejournal.
Today was really awful.
I got out of bed really early because my mom was yelling at me.

I feel sad, because Sarah and Britney are complete bitches. They told everyone I have an STD, just because I slept with both of their boyfriends on Saturday night.

I'm so sad. My kitten got run over this afternoon. I found him when I was coming home from school. His head was all squished. I took some photos. I'll miss him. Poor kitty.

Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.

I want to tell the world that I'm gay.

I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's some photos of my cock.

I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, and a healthy imagination.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.

visit www.rumandmonkey.com

07:50 pm: I have a subconscious obsession with the 80's.
damn its good to see you. thats what he said to me. and then he kissed me. your still a smartarse. remember grade eight. i wanted this too. jesus christ. some things dont change. i spend one night with him and already im back to remembering every word he says. i didnt have sex with him if thats what you were wondering. i should have. a bit of sexual healing never went astray. lachlan. heres the story behind the name. my big crush. the one you want so badly that you know youll never know what to do with them if you actually get them. if you told me three years ago that he would want to touch me back i would have told you to stop making fun of me. but people change. or just smoke a lot more pot. either way i saw him on saturday night at the clifton beach party. hes not as charming as he used to be. but i still flirted with him. an old habit. i felt like i owed it to who i used to be. have you ever found an old to do list. and felt the need to tick off every item. well it was like that. he kept nudging me all night. in the end we went off on a mission to steal some garden hose for a bong. but all the garden hoses we found had little attachments on the end. then somehow i ended up on my back.

09:15 am: Love thy neighbour till his wife gets home.
Im such a socially dyslexic fuck. oh well. all wrong again. i watched i heart huckabees yesterday. that made me go existential for a few hours. i spent a lot of time seeing how long i could hold my head underwater in the bath. im still caught up in human drama. nothingness can wait until i feel a little less human.

07:14 pm: A Goldmine Gutted
Eh. What did you expect. I never finish what i start anyway. im feeling sick. not in the phsyical sense. hehehe. i read jacks journal. he seems mildly embarassed. funny. its ashs birthday soon. im going to get her rude undie transfers. nothing says happy birthday like useless novelty gifts. unless she shows her undies to a lot of people. you never know with ash.i narrowly escaped baby sitting some eleven year old horror. its just me and the telly. everyone is being very emo at the moment. family problems and such. finished my art today. looks bland and shit. ok. maybe im feeling a bit emo too. then again. since when was emo a euphemisn for pms.

10:21 am: Sucked Souless
business studies is killing me slowly. fuck. crazy brady bunch hair lady keeps on walking past. fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away. gotta love peaches and her teaches. im feeling good about tonight. theyre leaving me alone. mother is going drinking and daddy is in the maldives. i can finally play naughty music on full volume and take baths with the door open. the snobby exchange student left. she wasnt much fun anyway. she went postal when i had the party. ahhhh, the party. im always gonna remember that. it was the first party i ever held at my house. mad fun. lots of drunken orgies. and morning after coffee's and scrambled eggs. that sunday had a beautiful bittersweet feel to it. like dark chocolate. i spent most of the night passed out next to the speakers. i even managed to get myself molested in my drunken state. thanks jerome. it was great while it lasted. enough about me. we all have stories now. ill tell you about everyones night. keep in mind these are made of up a patchwork of things ive been told. all of this is second hand. and yes. we are all too cool for school

tenille: started on the woodstock at seven. her stomach didnt agree with that. something about previous experiences with bourbon. and paddy wagons. on new years eve. nice one tenille. started blowing chunks over the balcony well before her bedtime. pheobe thought it would be a good idea to feed her shapes. no one went out on the balcony much after that.

erica: came late and left early. spent most of the night sipping pineapple cruisers and eating peoples faces. i think i kissed her. twice.

josh: had quite a good time. remember raiding dads beer with him. fast forward a few hours. scene: the downstairs bedroom. people: me, josh, ash, nat, morgan. me: stumble in to slurr at people. find that said people are quite preoccupied. nat is giving josh head. ash is dealing with the face part of him. morgan is somewhere in between. josh: looks up and moans. me: burst out laughing. have moment of clarity. decide to join in. scene interrupted with footage of dancing pixies. cuts to ash and josh making out in the pantry. lucky boy.

shea: last person to arrive. spends most of the time with kim and kims boobs. has brief love affair with my boobs. very brief. manages to break my pool gate while doing a gollum impression. not quite sure how.

micheal: has a sexy arse. got peer pressured into kissing josh. have to admit i was one of the pressurers. dont remember anything until about four. everyone crawled into my parents bed. eh. the bell is going to go. i will do some more kissing and telling later.

10:34 pm: i know you want to hear about my music taste
first a few safety pointers
1. if you dont want to hear about my gay music taste heres what you do *blocks ears with fingers*.....shit just realised something....feeling exceedingly stupid.

ignore above

fuck off if im boring you...im busy making lists

stuff i am listening to:

B52's - I Touch Myself (yes...yes i do)

Siouxie and the Banshees - Christine (hello jack...this ones for you)

The Beatles - Sexy Sadie (i was very disappointed when i found out this song was about a dog....)

The Kinks - Lola (makes me wanna change my name to lola...lola duckett)

Alpine Stars - Carbon Kid (v.v pleased when i disovered that Brian Molko does vocals for this song...makes him sexy and me twitchy)

The Ramones - I Wanna Be Sedated (pretty much sums up my life)

Placebo - Nancy Boy (its not fair....i want to be a (nancy) boy)

Heart - Barracuda (only for the opening lines...the rest can die)

Simple Minds - Dont You Forget About Me (really bad 80's synth crap....but its the theme to 'The Breakfast Club'....ahhhh...what i wouldnt give to fellate john bender)

Wannadies - Skin (not much to say....thinking about fellating molly ringwald...ewwww)

Bright Eyes - Lover I Dont Have To Love (i want a boy who's too sad to give a fuck)

08:55 pm: Losing my (livejournal) virginity
im am no longer a (livejournal) virgin. my first post. shhhhhh. dont tell them about the other one that you deleted. it was lame. i am lame. but dont get too upset. i dont.

do you want to hear about my problems. i have already told laura strange. but im pretty sure you havent heard. my life is perfect. not in the im pretty and popular sense. fuck that. but in the i have the perfect family life and nothing bad ever happens to me sense. im rich. my parents care about me. i could be anything i wanted to be. i had a perfect childhood. im smart. im not jaded. i havent had anyone i know die. i havent even had a pet die. no wonder i feel numb.

the problem is that i should be a happy normal person. instead i have ended up despising happy normal people and desperatly wanting to ruin my life. i crave tragedy. i dont want to be happy. i want to be crushingly depressingly sad. i can see you all shaking your heads (im going to pretend youre there,ok?). i am spoilt brat who doesnt know how lucky she is.

the thing is ive been this way forever. i was about seven when i found out that girls who had sex with lots of people were bad. around the same time i decided i was going to be one of those girls. it sounded pretty fun. and destructive. i was convinced i would be slutting around by the time i was twelve. i used to be obsessed with sex. and bad things. i used to sit there in preschool and say sex quietly over and over again thinking no one could hear me. i was a strange child.

but those arent my real problems. my real problem is jack. he is exactly what i have always wanted. ok that came out wrong. it sounds like hes the love of my life. i dont mean it like that. its just that hes so full of tragedy. even if he is a bit melodramatic. i like it. meh. im over my rant now. jack has put me off it. maybe its just the port wearing off.

i want to buy a peaches album. im not sure which one has that song on it. fuck the pain away. i really like that song. probably because its about things i dont have. like pain and sex. maybe i should just poison myself with arsenic. im exactly like emma bovary. from madame bovary. that book has had quite an impact on me. i read it back in my child prodigy days.

its sad that way. i read all these great books when i was nine and know that i actually understand them theyre already ruined. kind of like drugs. bugger. why are all my friends so jaded.

do you want to hear about my kick arse friends? theyre everything ive always wanted to be and everything i am. it makes me vaguely happy. but only for a few seconds. were all so free of social taboo. we can talk about anything. we can talk about wanting to the fuck the same sex(wow!). we can talk about how delicious masturbating is(keep in mind im a girl...double wow!). we can even talk about raping dead babies (oooooohhhh). keep in mind this is pretty revolutionary behaviour for grade 10 Cairns State High School.

there is also the minor detail of how awesome everyones music taste is. They know who Kim Gordon is. They know who Jim Morrison is. The know who Malcolm McLaren is. crazy red head boy even knows what madchester is. i cannot believe how lucky i am. i have struck an absolute goldmine of intelligent conversation. we even have a pet child prodigy/marxist. and ash reads nietzsche. and older, better looking people call us arty. mind you we are all uber-sexy in our own art-faggish ways. i will post a photo soon when i can smuggle the camera out of the house.